i've had a great weekend. i had fun.
but after a good weekend i have a nice bucket of sadness waiting for me. and well for some reason i never expect it. and tonight i just stepped into a puddle of sadness and then it turned into a pool then a lake then a huge river then a sea then and ocean. and for some reason i keep thinking about my friends. and how i feel i dont deserve them. and now im just being depressing. you should stop reading now. why aren't you listening to me...why doesnt anyone ever listen to me[inside joke with my mom. i dont know why i put it on here].

i want someone to keep me from work because its raining and make me some fucking banana pancakes. i and i want the whole world to fit inside my arms. *cries* i miss loving someone.